Magazines That Mock Heavy Metal Music

This article is a collaborative effort, crafted and edited by a team of dedicated professionals.

Contributors: Andranick Tanguiane, Fred Lerdahl,

Contents

If you’re looking for a good laugh, check out our list of magazines that mock heavy metal music. From the ridiculous to the sublime, these publications will have you rolling on the floor.

The New Yorker

Article: “The Heavy-Metal Kids Next Door”

In the mid-aughts, in a small town in upstate New York, “Scene Point Blank” zine was born. It was the brainchild of Mark Murrmann, who had started playing in metal bands when he was thirteen and had become obsessed with underground music. The zine was rough around the edges—it was Xeroxed and stapled together—but it achieved a cult following among kids who loved metal but felt out of place in their conservative, rural communities. In each issue, Murrmann would interview bands from the local scene, review new records, and write funny, profanity-laced rants about the music industry. He didn’t pull punches: in one issue, he wrote that the popular metalcore band As I Lay Dying “suck so fucking hard they make my dick hurt.”

Murrmann was just eighteen when he started “Scene Point Blank,” and he had no illusions about making it big. He was happy to put out a few hundred copies of each issue and sell them at shows for two or three dollars apiece. But, as word of mouth about the zine spread, its circulation began to grow. By 2008, Murrmann was selling ten thousand copies per issue, and he had attracted advertisers like Hot Topic and FYE. That year, he quit his day job at a pizza place and devoted himself full time to “Scene Point Blank.”

The zine’s success coincided with a boom in heavy-metal music. In 2006, Metallica headlined Lollapalooza; in 2007, Ozzfest drew more than seventy thousand people to Devore, California; and in 2008 Slayer played Madison Square Garden. Murrmann rode the wave of metal mania, expanding “Scene Point Blank” into a Web site (scenepointblank.com) and launching a record label (SPB Records), which released albums by local bands such as This Is Hell and Stray from the Path. He also started hosting tours featuring up-and-coming bands—a natural extension of his work as a booking agent for local shows—and took them on the road with him in his van.

Murrmann built “Scene Point Blank” into an unlikely empire—all while maintaining an unpretentious DIY ethic and punk-rock sensibility. He didn’t care about making money; he just wanted to help good bands get exposure. By 2012, however, he was burned out. He sold the Web site to another company (which continues to operate it), and SPB Records ceased to exist. These days, Murrmann is focusing on his writing: he recently published a book about his travels on the vans tour circuit (“Punk Rock Road Trip: One Year on the Vans Warped Tour”) and is at work on a memoir about growing up as a metalhead in small-town America.

Rolling Stone

Rolling Stone is a magazine that is known for its music coverage. It was founded in 1967 and has since then been synonymous with musical greats such as Bob Dylan, the Rolling Stones, and Nirvana. The magazine has also been known to mock heavy metal music from time to time.

Article: “The 50 Greatest Hair Metal Albums of All Time”

Whether you love them or hate them, there’s no denying that hair metal bands have had a major impact on the world of rock music. From their outrageousstage shows to their over-the-top fashion sense, these bands defined an era and carved out a unique niche in the musical landscape.

For better or worse, hair metal bands dominated the rock world in the 1980s and early 1990s. While many of these bands are long gone, their music continues to resonate with fans all over the world.

To celebrate the enduring legacy of hair metal, we’ve compiled a list of the 50 greatest hair metal albums of all time. From glam classics like Poison’s “Look What the Cat Dragged In” to 80s hair metal staples like Mötley Crüe’s “Dr. Feelgood,” these are the albums that defined an era.

Kerrang!

Kerrang! is a British magazine devoted to rock music and heavy metal music. It was first published in June 1981 by United Newspapers. The magazine has a long history of mocking metal music and metal fans.

Article: “The 10 Funniest Heavy Metal Memes”

The internet is full of hilarious heavy metal memes, and we’ve gathered some of the best ones here for your enjoyment. From guitarists shredding their instruments to metalheads headbanging in public places, these memes will definitely make you laugh. So if you’re in need of a good laugh, check out our list of the 10 funniest heavy metal memes.

Decibel

Decibel is a monthly magazine that covers all aspects of the heavy metal music scene. It includes interviews, reviews, and columns written by some of the most knowledgeable and respected people in the industry. Decibel also mocks the metal music scene, which some fans may find offensive.

Article: “The 50 Greatest Metal Albums of All Time”

When it comes to inventing, expanding, and perfecting the metal genre, these 50 albums did it best. Recorded between 1964 and 1991, they range from proto-metal to post-metal, from British steel to American muscle. They are ageless and audacious, essential and excessive. They are the 50 greatest metal albums of all time.

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